Do you ever feel really bad buyer’s remorse after spending money on yourself? I’m sure you have experienced that before at least once in your life. Well, in the past few days I have been having a really bad case of buyer’s remorse. I invested quite a lot of money into a 90-day coaching program that will get me closer to making my dream come true, but… my anxiety is coming out of my ears!
As a coach, I understand perfectly well where this anxiety is coming from–low-self worth that was ingrained in me since early days of my life. How do I know that? I have invested in several coaching programs before that were costly, but really helped me to get to my end goal at the time. That’s how I became a certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, and that’s how I was finally able to get my book published. During those studies I learned that since I came from a very poor family, I must be automatically feeling unworthy of having money and definitely shouldn’t be spending it on myself, but save, save, save for a rainy day.
In my family money was a tough subject to discuss. My grandmother was very economical and counted every kopeika (Russian penny) in order to be able to buy food, pay bills, and put some away for her funeral. In the tiny studio apartment where I grew up there was no shower. There was a shower in my grandmother’s apartment but in order to save on the water bill, she would only let me take a shower once a week. Yeah, not cool at all. I always felt dirty and embarassed, and I felt like I wasn’t normal like other kids. Often, mom would say that we were not born into a rich family and will never have money. Hold on, what? And I grew up believing that.
Recently, I learned the term cognitive dissonance, and that’s exactly what I have been experiencing in the last few days. Basically, cognitive dissonance is when your conscious says you can do something, but your subconscious says you can’t because of the old patterns of thinking. Thank to the fact that I am aware of this happening, I can direct my thought towards the new way of thinking and eventually retrain my mind into developing a new belief–I can do anything I put my mind to, and I am worthy of having money, and it’s OK to spend money on myself. This is what happens with a lot of coaching clients. They start a program and then feel guilty about investing in themselves. Then they feel too much resistance within themselves, quit following the program and get no results whatsoever. Awareness is the key! Willingness to change old patterns and taking action steps makes all the difference. Persistence and consistency work!
I have a pretty big vision of what I want my life to be. I have made ton of progress since I left home in Russia almost 20 years ago, but I wish I knew about my “scarcity mentality” long time ago. With my drive and determination, I would have been a lot farther now. But it’s never too late to start on the right path, so think about what your ideal vision for your life would be, what obstacles you would have to overcome, and make a plan! If you have “scarcity mentality” now, you can change it because you are worthy to have anything you want. The sky is not even the limit!
When those limiting thoughts come over me, first, I look back and list all my accomplishments and how good they made me feel, and now, since I am a MOM (mom on a mission), I also think, If it was my son and he had a dream and needed to make an investment into his development, would I stop him and say his dream was too expensive? Absolutely not! As parents, we can do a lot in instilling in our children confidence and positive beliefs about themselves that will help them thrive in the future. Money can always be earned, but time can’t.
I encourage you, Mamas, to dream big, get out of your comfort zone and break your limiting beliefs, and show your kids how to reach their biggest goals from the start! Hopefully, we can break that generational dysfunctional cycle of scarcity mentality!